I have fantasies about being with a girl both romantically and sexually so I think i'm bi but I don't want to admit it to myself or anyone helpp
Sweetie, the only way to find out for sure is to do it. I can’t tell you that you’re bi. Nor can anyone else.
Nobody can help you on this one. This is something you need to discover. If you’re afraid that you’ll actually turn out to be bi, then you have some growing to do. There is nothing wrong with being who you are, and there is nothing wrong with any sexual orientation. Go fool around with a woman and see how you feel.
-Adrian
About 2 years ago I suffered from depression, I started cutting myself. Now two years im in a relationship with a lovely boy, but I feel like I should tell him as we try to share everything and he's told me his biggest secrets. But I think that he might think differently of me if he knew what I'd done. And that it may happen again in the future. Do you think it would change his opinion of me?
I can’t predict his responce. But I’m going to be honest with you. Tell him. Because if he is going to judge you for cutting yourself, then he isn’t work being together with. Your partner should accept you as you are. Your cutting was not a mistake, it was something that happened because you were depressed. It was a sign of a struggle that you are fighting or have fought.
There is nothing more important in a relationship than honesty. Trust me, if he genuinely loves you, he will only show concern, love, and understanding for you and your past.
-Adrian
Anon who sent us the message about your friend who is 6 years older than you, you put (1/2) at the end of the message, which I’d assume means you sent a 2nd one? well we haven’t received it…so if you could send it again? or just send the entire thing again, then I can answer whatever question(s) you might have :)
- Katie.
Thank you very much for replying. This depression has only came about in the past few months, I think alot of it has to do with his job, because he was never happy there. He is starting school after summer, It's like a university college thing. I have been with him for 2 years, and since day 1 I've known about his illness. I am willing to be there for him. It will be hard for myself, but I love him too much to let him go through this alone. Thank you again for your help, it has helped :)
I know adrian responded to this. but I just wanted you to know this message didn’t go unnoticed here.
I’m glad you care about him enough to help him, I’ve done the same for a few friends. I know Adrian said it’s not your place to give up your life basically to help someone and I agree, but I do find it completely courageous of you to help him. You’re a brave and brilliant person. Feel free to message us if you need anything else.
<3 - Katie.
My boyfriend is suffering from depression, its quite bad. He also suffers from severe social anxiety. The mix together is really hard on him and for me. I'm his only friend aswell as girlfriend. But he's recently been saying he wants to kill himself. I know it's most likely to be a cry for help, but i'm really scared. I don't want to loose him. He won't see a doctor because of his anxiety, I feel that I need to help him through this. Help? ;_;
This is Adrian here.
I dated a girl who had severe depression for a year and a half. It was a similar situation. Suicidal thoughts, threats, lack of desire to do anything, no energy, no motivation for a job, school, or to keep friends. When new friends entered the picture, they were pushed away because of the assumption that they would eventually leave, which made them leave anyway.
It’s not easy.
She refused to get help when I was with her. And I broke up with her because after a year and a half of this, I realized that I was her crutch for everything. That I was her therapist, her medication, and that she relied on me for everything. And that as long as we were together, she would never get help.
I’m not saying this is your situation, or the right thing to do. I’m just saying that depression is serious, and if he is refusing to get help, you need to use his family to get him to go to therapy. He will rarely if never go on his own will because that’s how depression works.
I’m going to be honest with you.
You are not responsible for his happiness. You are not his babysitter, and you are not his wheelchair that needs to carry him through everything.
You love him, dearly. I can tell.
And I know he loves you.
I’m not sure where you two are in the relationship, but if it’s been over a year of you suggesting he should get help, chances are he is never ever going to get it.
Be honest with yourself. And ask yourself if you think it’s worth it. I’m not saying you should break up with him. I’m telling you that you need to look deep inside yourself, and ask yourself if you’re willing to put in all of your time, energy, and emotion into helping someone.
There is no grand reward, and he will never get better. Depression and anxiety is a lifelong battle. And it is something that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life. If you think it is worth it, then I respect you immensely.
You can help someone through a situation, but you cannot force someone to get better. You are not responsible for his happiness. I want you to realize that last point. If he isn’t wiling to fight his depression, there is absolutely nothing you can do, short of putting him in an asylum, that will help him.
Stay strong dear.
All the best.
-Adrian.
The guy I'm pretty much in love with told my friends that he's been thinking about liking me back. I hoped so much. But I talked to him about it and he denied that. He told me he didn't like me like that. But we're good friends and he told me it want get in the way of our friendship whatsoever, but I'm worried it might. This all happened yesterday. I literally feel so sad and sick and I don't know what to do. I can't even cry I'm so numb and have a pain in my chest that feels like needles.
Chances are he freaked out under pressure and when confronted with it, he denied it because it’s scary to deal with those things in the moment.
However, the only way to know for sure is to talk to him again. You asked him if he liked you and he said no. Whether he is telling the truth or not is anybody’s guess.
This is the best advice I can give: Talk to him again, tell him how you really feel, and ask whether or not he is willing to give you two a shot. If he hesitates, or says no, don’t go for it. Trust me when I say that when someone wants to date you, they won’t hesitate if flat out given the opportunity without any hidden meanings. Also, you don’t want to date someone who isn’t sure if they want to date you, it’s not worth it.
-Adrian
hi c: okay so boyfriend of a year broke up with me 3 weeks ago. ugh its all really messy, he broke up with me over txt, deleted me off facebook, just generally being a twat. but i realised that hes also gone and deleted photos of us from last years formal, i dont get this! he broke up with me, why is he the one who wants nothing to do with me? i didnt do anything but love him, and now hes acting like he hates me and like ive hurt him a lot. do you have any ideas on why he's acting like this? \:
This is where neither Katie or I can help you. Because we are not mind readers. We are not going to make assumptions, or put ideas into your head. There is no point of us speculating because it will only make you paranoid and think things that may not exist.
Honestly, the guy is being a twat. And since you did nothing but love him, and he’s the one going out of his way to avoid you, trust me when I say you deserve better. There is no point in fighting for this guy because it will only serve to mess with your head.
The only way to know is to ask him yourself. Not his friends, not your friends, but him personally. And if he is avoiding you and trying to get away from you, then let him. He isn’t worth it anyway.
-Adrian
I'm in love with my best friend while also trying to help him deal with a pre-breakup situation right now. He's really upset because his current girlfriend doesn't like him anymore, and I don't know how to keep my personal feelings out of it. He's hinted at having feelings for me, and us dating if he and this girl break up has come up in conversation before. I really just want him to be happy, and I know this girl is doing the opposite, but how do I help him without my feelings clouding things?
I actually had this happen to me earlier this year. Honestly, you’ve got to try and think of his as a friend right now. If you care about him as much as you seem to, you need to think about him and his feelings right now.
He needs time to figure things out with this girl, and then heal from that.
If you care about him like you say then you can help him and be his friend and wait it out.
Just let him know you’re there if he needs to talk. Give him advice that you would give any friend, and don’t try to persuade him for your own gain, because really that’s just caring about you and not him.
It took my friend almost 2 months and he’s still not over this girl. It can take time, and unfortunately you just have to wait it out.
I hope everything goes well, if you need anything else feel free to message us back :)
-katie
Soo i get turned on by some really weird stuff, and im not sure if i should seek Psychiatric help or not. Do you think things like that are normal things alot of ppl deal with?
Hahaha, Don’t worry about it. You’ll find someone one day that you are comfortable with and they may or may not like the things you like.
The guy I am seeing now doesn’t enjoy anal and I do. Sometimes theres just compromises you’ll have to be willing to work out.
If you’re into whatever, thats what makes you you. Nothing is ‘weird’ - believe me, I am turned on by some really weird stuff myself. At first I thought the same things as you, should i tell anyone? Should I seek help. But honestly, you just need to be comfortable in yourself, and like what you like. Who cares if other people think it’s weird. They don’t have to partake in it/watch it or anything.
You like whatever you like! :)
-Katie
18/F My best friend's father was in surgery 8 hour ago getting a stent for a blocked artery. She posted this on Facebook and said "My dad's in the operating room now, getting a stent for a blocked artery. Every ones's prayers would be appreciated". Is it appropriate for me to post "Mr. [last name] recently had surgery for a blocked artery. Please send prayers his way." I'm not religious at all, and I'm second guessing posting this because I don't want it to sound like he's dying.
Hmmm.
I’d just send your best wishes to the family and friend. call her, text her, etc, just be there for her. No status update is needed, she’s already done that for herself and her family. I’m not sure if it’s your place to be letting people know about it.
I know you’re not religious but sending your best wishes has nothing to do with prayers or religion. You can still be there for your friend!
Good luck, and I will definitely pray for him! I hope everything goes well, and he’s fine in the end :)
-Katie
